Kitten punching and quarter life crises.
I AM GOING TO PUNCH A KITTEN!!!!!
(Which is ironic because of my last post. Not my kitten. I won't punch him.)
BUT SRSLY ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGH!!
First, I discover through e-mail that I've got $250 in library overdue fees. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS FOR THREE BOOKS. Those books aren't even worth that much.
So, I truck my angry ass down to the library and return the books. I then proceed to the help desk to ask if there is any way to contest the fees.
Library girl: May I ask what the reason is?
Me: Well...I really don't have an excuse for the overdue-...ness...um....
Library girl: Well, the first thing you can do is return the books, and then --
Me: Oh, I just did that.
LG: Okay. That will take the fee down to about $45, because there is a $60 holding fee for each book, and a $15 late fee. So it should go down now that you've returned the books.
Me: ...Oh. *General embarrassment for overreacting* Well, that's all I needed to know, thanks.
LG: No problem. *goes back to playing solitaire on computer*
Relieved, I walked away from the library and went back home.
Fast forward 4 days.
I'm sitting here "studying" for my Fertility exam, and I decided to look to see if any more grades had been posted since yesterday. Negative. So then I start to look to see if there are any other courses I can enroll in for next semester because...well, y'know I'd like to graduate sooner than later. So I'm going through the process of enrolling, when I click the final step, and both the classes come up with the evil little red X next to it. Figuring it would be something about not having the proper requisites, I didn't think much of it at first glance. But then I read the words next to the X and found that I have a hold on my account, so I can't enroll until the hold is taken off. Of course, it doesn't tell me what my hold is, but after thinking for a few seconds, I figure it must be my library fees. Stupid library.
So I figure, $45 isn't that much, I'll just nip this shit in the freaking bud right now. Git 'er done. So I go to the page where I go take care of stupid things like paying for stuff, and I try paying for it by credit card. I click the "Select Card Type" drop down box, and it says every card but Visa. Maybe this is a mistake. I click it at least 5 times, because you know, maybe clicking it a lot will make VISA magically appear. Right. So, I'm clicking, and I'm clicking, and I'm clicking, and nothing changes. Turns out, clicking things lots does NOT work. So I go to the school's homepage and type in the search box: VISA payment fees (somewhat incoherent, but I figure it's just going to search for the words in whatever order they appear), and the first link that comes up has content that says: "We do NOT accept VISA cards."
Well, shit.
Of course, it was a link to the Bursar's office, and it was exactly what I was looking for. So I go back and try to pay by electronic check. I go grab my checkbook, and as I'm going to type in the account number, I notice that the checks say "Nicolet" on them.
NOT MY BANK.
I grabbed my old checks, from when I first went to college at Millikin. And then, I quickly realized that I had already written a check to someone with this checkbook. This is a rather unfortunate thing, because this person is rather important and I would hate to have her try to cash a check from me and have it go "NO! CAN'T DO! CHECK IS BAD! PAY FINE! MEH!" So I immediately e-mailed her and told her about the situation.
And that's why I want to punch a kitten. But since I blogged about my want to punch a kitten, my anger has significantly subsided, and I no longer feel the need to assault any felines.
Cats of the world: *exhale*
This is just going to be an epically bad day. I can tell. It already has been. But I'm also irked very easily.
As I was recently perusing through Facebook, I started to wonder, what am I doing with my life? What the hell am I doing with my life? I'm still living in the same town that I've lived in since I was born. I've been in college for almost 5 years and I have no idea when I'm going to get out. Am I getting anything out of school, really? I have gotten lots out of my education, but I feel like now that my time here is slowly coming to a close, that the quality of my education is dwindling as well. I'm nearly done with my major, which is the reason that anyone would enjoy college. I've got all the required theatre courses out of the way but a select few (that are basically repeats of which you need multiple credits). I'm not cast in any shows this coming semester, so I'm not going to have any theatre work to do, and there aren't many/any outside opportunities to do theatre outside of school in this town. I would have to make my own opportunities, which I've proposed, but got no support, which is disappointing and discouraging.
I'm stuck in this dead end state of mind, and I can't figure out a way to move forward.
Now a few of you are probably thinking that it isn't that hard to get motivated, if you want to do something, then just do it. Easy. I can almost hear some of you saying it.
Well, it isn't easy. And I bet a lot of people would agree with that statement. I had the opportunity to go and embark on one of my dreams, and I turned it down because of finances and logic, and so now I have to make the best of what I chose to do and figure out a way that I can finish here so I can successfully go do what I ultimately want to do. I just want to be done, but I have to find motivation to work hard and do well and finish.
I'm just...stuck. And that sucks. I see people smiling and living these happy existences and saying how great they're doing, being where they want to be, with whom they want to be, and how everything is falling into place so nicely. And I wonder when that is going to happen for me.
I think my first problem is that I base a lot of what happens to me on people. I don't know how to be selfish and do things just for me. All I really do is give, give, give, and I'm not sure how much I receive in return. So do I stop giving? That would make me a bad person, I think. I can't just stop giving. I just need to give more to myself than I have been giving....to...myself.
It may also be Winter. I'm not a big fan of the winter months. I enjoy Christmas, but after Christmas and New Year's, Winter can go sit on an active volcano. Mainly January. There is absolutely no point of January. Here is why:
February - Valentine's Day (whether you have a person or not, at least you get to gripe about it if you're lonely)
March - St. Patrick's Day, Spring Break
April - Spring starts happening, Easter (CHOCOLATE!)
May - Summer vacation, finally gets warmer
June - Summer
July - 4th of July, Summer
August - Summer
September - Leaves start changing, new school year starts, my birthday (!)
October - Halloween
November - Thanksgiving (TURKEY)
December - Christmas, first big snowfall, New Year's Eve
January - New Year's hangover. FREEZING. No holidays. Just cold. Blah.
So you see, January just sucks. January could jump off a cliff and I sure wouldn't miss it. I may have some sort of seasonal depression. I don't know if that's a thing I should be worried about..
So anyway. I really was going to try to blog about happy things and save all the bad for after Christmas, but I just had to get all this out right away. I wish that I could estimate how long these next eight months are going to go, but there would be no point and trying to predict it will get me nowhere.
Le sigh.
That's about all I've got for now. Here's a picture of a kitten, to reassure the feline population that I do, in fact, like cats.
(Which is ironic because of my last post. Not my kitten. I won't punch him.)
BUT SRSLY ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGH!!
First, I discover through e-mail that I've got $250 in library overdue fees. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS FOR THREE BOOKS. Those books aren't even worth that much.
So, I truck my angry ass down to the library and return the books. I then proceed to the help desk to ask if there is any way to contest the fees.
Library girl: May I ask what the reason is?
Me: Well...I really don't have an excuse for the overdue-...ness...um....
Library girl: Well, the first thing you can do is return the books, and then --
Me: Oh, I just did that.
LG: Okay. That will take the fee down to about $45, because there is a $60 holding fee for each book, and a $15 late fee. So it should go down now that you've returned the books.
Me: ...Oh. *General embarrassment for overreacting* Well, that's all I needed to know, thanks.
LG: No problem. *goes back to playing solitaire on computer*
Relieved, I walked away from the library and went back home.
Fast forward 4 days.
I'm sitting here "studying" for my Fertility exam, and I decided to look to see if any more grades had been posted since yesterday. Negative. So then I start to look to see if there are any other courses I can enroll in for next semester because...well, y'know I'd like to graduate sooner than later. So I'm going through the process of enrolling, when I click the final step, and both the classes come up with the evil little red X next to it. Figuring it would be something about not having the proper requisites, I didn't think much of it at first glance. But then I read the words next to the X and found that I have a hold on my account, so I can't enroll until the hold is taken off. Of course, it doesn't tell me what my hold is, but after thinking for a few seconds, I figure it must be my library fees. Stupid library.
So I figure, $45 isn't that much, I'll just nip this shit in the freaking bud right now. Git 'er done. So I go to the page where I go take care of stupid things like paying for stuff, and I try paying for it by credit card. I click the "Select Card Type" drop down box, and it says every card but Visa. Maybe this is a mistake. I click it at least 5 times, because you know, maybe clicking it a lot will make VISA magically appear. Right. So, I'm clicking, and I'm clicking, and I'm clicking, and nothing changes. Turns out, clicking things lots does NOT work. So I go to the school's homepage and type in the search box: VISA payment fees (somewhat incoherent, but I figure it's just going to search for the words in whatever order they appear), and the first link that comes up has content that says: "We do NOT accept VISA cards."
Well, shit.
Of course, it was a link to the Bursar's office, and it was exactly what I was looking for. So I go back and try to pay by electronic check. I go grab my checkbook, and as I'm going to type in the account number, I notice that the checks say "Nicolet" on them.
NOT MY BANK.
I grabbed my old checks, from when I first went to college at Millikin. And then, I quickly realized that I had already written a check to someone with this checkbook. This is a rather unfortunate thing, because this person is rather important and I would hate to have her try to cash a check from me and have it go "NO! CAN'T DO! CHECK IS BAD! PAY FINE! MEH!" So I immediately e-mailed her and told her about the situation.
And that's why I want to punch a kitten. But since I blogged about my want to punch a kitten, my anger has significantly subsided, and I no longer feel the need to assault any felines.
Cats of the world: *exhale*
This is just going to be an epically bad day. I can tell. It already has been. But I'm also irked very easily.
As I was recently perusing through Facebook, I started to wonder, what am I doing with my life? What the hell am I doing with my life? I'm still living in the same town that I've lived in since I was born. I've been in college for almost 5 years and I have no idea when I'm going to get out. Am I getting anything out of school, really? I have gotten lots out of my education, but I feel like now that my time here is slowly coming to a close, that the quality of my education is dwindling as well. I'm nearly done with my major, which is the reason that anyone would enjoy college. I've got all the required theatre courses out of the way but a select few (that are basically repeats of which you need multiple credits). I'm not cast in any shows this coming semester, so I'm not going to have any theatre work to do, and there aren't many/any outside opportunities to do theatre outside of school in this town. I would have to make my own opportunities, which I've proposed, but got no support, which is disappointing and discouraging.
I'm stuck in this dead end state of mind, and I can't figure out a way to move forward.
Now a few of you are probably thinking that it isn't that hard to get motivated, if you want to do something, then just do it. Easy. I can almost hear some of you saying it.
Well, it isn't easy. And I bet a lot of people would agree with that statement. I had the opportunity to go and embark on one of my dreams, and I turned it down because of finances and logic, and so now I have to make the best of what I chose to do and figure out a way that I can finish here so I can successfully go do what I ultimately want to do. I just want to be done, but I have to find motivation to work hard and do well and finish.
I'm just...stuck. And that sucks. I see people smiling and living these happy existences and saying how great they're doing, being where they want to be, with whom they want to be, and how everything is falling into place so nicely. And I wonder when that is going to happen for me.
I think my first problem is that I base a lot of what happens to me on people. I don't know how to be selfish and do things just for me. All I really do is give, give, give, and I'm not sure how much I receive in return. So do I stop giving? That would make me a bad person, I think. I can't just stop giving. I just need to give more to myself than I have been giving....to...myself.
It may also be Winter. I'm not a big fan of the winter months. I enjoy Christmas, but after Christmas and New Year's, Winter can go sit on an active volcano. Mainly January. There is absolutely no point of January. Here is why:
February - Valentine's Day (whether you have a person or not, at least you get to gripe about it if you're lonely)
March - St. Patrick's Day, Spring Break
April - Spring starts happening, Easter (CHOCOLATE!)
May - Summer vacation, finally gets warmer
June - Summer
July - 4th of July, Summer
August - Summer
September - Leaves start changing, new school year starts, my birthday (!)
October - Halloween
November - Thanksgiving (TURKEY)
December - Christmas, first big snowfall, New Year's Eve
January - New Year's hangover. FREEZING. No holidays. Just cold. Blah.
So you see, January just sucks. January could jump off a cliff and I sure wouldn't miss it. I may have some sort of seasonal depression. I don't know if that's a thing I should be worried about..
So anyway. I really was going to try to blog about happy things and save all the bad for after Christmas, but I just had to get all this out right away. I wish that I could estimate how long these next eight months are going to go, but there would be no point and trying to predict it will get me nowhere.
Le sigh.
That's about all I've got for now. Here's a picture of a kitten, to reassure the feline population that I do, in fact, like cats.
Mmm. Rainbow.
I support you!!! You know I back you 110% - always! Never give up Mols, never.
ReplyDeleteIt's like you're inside my head. I'm pretty sure I've written this exact blog like four times in my life. Even the UWGB fines shit... except I just transferred and now my parents get annoying letters saying that I owe them $10.
ReplyDelete