Accidentally Hilarious.

I'm trying to write a song. I'd like to write many songs. And someday I'd like to put them all together and make a little CD out of them. But I get distracted and then I end up watching the season finales of American Idol and Modern Family and the first episode of America's Next Top Model and then I wind up with a blank Word document and another notch on the slacker bedpost. That wasn't even a cliche. That was poor usage of a cliche. I'm definitely not using that in a song. Or maybe I should. "You're just another notch on the bedpost of life Because you're slacking off. That means you're lazy. And you're probably pretty ugly too. But that's just a rude assumption. I take it back. Yeah you're just a notch on the bedpost of life." There. Done. #1 record, here I come. I think if I were to actually write an entire album, it would turn out a lot like something Kimya Dawson would write. If you don't know who ...

I need to vent about this before it leaves my brain. I was watching the "Born This Way" video again, just to sort of wrap my head around what the heck is going on in it, when I saw that one of the Highest Rated Comments said this: " ALL YOU FAGGOTS WHO HATE THIS VIDEO, IVE GOT 2 WORDS FOR YOU, FUCK OFF BECAUSE GAGA IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF SAYING NO MATTER WHO WE ARE, GOD DIDNT MESS UP AND HE MADE YOU THE WAY YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE! " What a ridiculous thing to say. And I'm not talking about the bulk of the comment. I'm referring to the third word. Lady Gaga is not only a perfect example of being true to yourself, but is also strongly against bullying and is pro-equality. Clearly, a true Gaga fan would know that, and would refrain from using such a hateful word. I hate that word. I never use it. It burns coming out of my mouth. I don't even like seeing it up there on the top of the screen, even in quotations. So, I responded as such: M...

I just went on an iTunes binge. Here's what I got: "Doo Wops and Hooligans" - Bruno Mars "Live at Soho" - Sara Bareilles "What the Hell" (single) - Avril Lavigne "Born This Way" (single) - Lady Gaga "Hold It Against Me" (single) - Britney Spears "S&M" (single) - Rihanna "Bottoms Up" (single) - Trey Songz "Fuck You" (single) - Cee Lo Green "Far" - Regina Spektor I was tempted to get Weird Al's "Essentials" collection album....but I refrained.  All right. So let me explain myself a little bit here. Bruno Mars Do I even need to explain? I wasn't a huge fan of "Just the Way You Are" at first, because it was OVERPLAYED. Holy crap. But it was so cute, and it made me want a boy to sing those words to me. And then "Grenade" came out, and that's exactly what it was. A grenade. That's how it hit me anyway. What a fabulous song. It...

I hope you enjoyed the pun in the title. I can tell already that this is going to be a beautiful relationship. I really wanted to make a video blog on YouTube, but as it turns out, I'm no good at speaking, so I figured if I really want to get things out to the people (basically anyone I care about who cares to read what I have to say), I should do it in writing. And believe me, I have a lot to say. For now, we'll start out small, and work our way to bigger things. Today, I went laser tagging. I've never been until today, and let me tell you, my dear blog reader, that it was an experience. A hot, sweaty experience. It was hard enough running around in tight spaces with a gun that you have to hold with both hands at all times if you want to have any sort of chance of hitting any target, but then add a vest that weighs at least 10 pounds, and is bulky, and you've got yourself one big, awkward, literally hot mess. I did all right the first time. Actually that's a lie. I...