"You Don't Need to Lose Weight"...

There's such a stigma around getting fit. It makes people roll their eyes and think, “Okay, we get it, you’re on a ‘fitness journey,’ shut up about it already.” Of course this isn’t always the case, but I see it often enough that it’s daunting to want to share anything about my own “journey.”

I find that this is often more of an issue for women - especially those who are already “thin.” I often hear people say, "But you don't need to lose weight," or, "I think it might mostly be in your head." Or worst of all: "But I prefer a woman with a little meat on her bones." And that last one isn't to say that I judge women of any stature in any way, (literally) shape, or form. But when someone says those words to someone who has a goal to be healthy, or is already physically fit and/or muscular, these words can be so discouraging. It’s as if they don’t understand that you don’t get to just stop working out and eating healthy foods once you hit your fitness goals. It’s called upkeep, and it’s hard to maintain. Once you reach a certain level of fitness, it doesn’t just stick. It takes work much past the initial achievement. And I am by no means close to my goals. 

Sure, it's good to reinforce that someone is beautiful no matter what, but why do people find it so self-satisfying to tell women on a mission to be healthy and strong that they essentially are wasting their time? Do they think they're going to change our minds? Make us slow down, turn around and run straight back to a sedentary lifestyle full of couches, blankets, and overeating? Shouldn’t we want to be healthier? Shouldn’t we encourage people for trying to be healthier? It’s no wonder so many people quit or give up on their goals before ever seeing them through.

"I prefer women with curves" is not a nice thing to say to someone without curves. You’re basically saying, “I can see you and I know what you look like and I am acknowledging that I don’t like the way you look and I wish you looked a different way.”  This is completely applicable the other way around, too. You would never say, “I prefer skinny girls,” to someone with curves (I hope). Do we expect bigger girls to work out and therefore provide them with encouragement because we want them to be thinner, and get annoyed when we see thinner people working out because they’re “done” already? Because I have to tell you, the logic behind that whole sentence is fucked. Wanting to be healthy should not have a limit or a pant size.

I have been told that I was “too muscular.” I’ve been humiliated for not being curvy enough. When my body was at its peak, I was made to feel like I was ugly, unattractive, and undesirable. (There was a deeper issue rooted into the reasoning from where these comments came, but sometimes words hurt no matter what their intentions.) I only workout for 30 minutes a day from the comfort of my own living room, and I watch what I eat, that’s literally it. I still drink beer and I still eat what I want when I want to – I’m just more conscious of it now.

The main point is: You don’t get to tell someone how they should feel about their body. I can tell you that your compliments and backhanded encouragement do nothing but make us feel weird and unsupported. Unless we’re going about it in an unhealthy way, then you don’t need to concern yourself with why we’re doing what we’re doing.  Just let us keep doing it. You may be surprised when we look hot af (although you shouldn’t be).

-END RANT-