Good tidings from Wisconsin

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A Cornucopia of Matters...NSFC! (Not safe for CHILDREN!)

I swear. I know I may not be the best at grammar, or English, or writing, or speaking, or anything , really, but I do appreciate the honest attempt to write, speak or ... I don't know, burp the English language. (I'm sure I'd appreciate the honest attempt to write, speak or burp other languages, but I'm not fluent in any other, so alas, I must stick with English. Curse my unilinguity. I made up a word. Unilinguity. Uni-linguity?) The review for Spelling Bee was in the school newspaper this week. It was terrible . To say the least. I think I wrote better pieces of literature when I was in middle school. I mean, if we all thought that the man who writes for the local newspaper, a former sports columnist, was bad, this reviewer just came bounding and leaping ahead of him and took first prize in the Really Crappy Composition Contest . (See what I did with the alliteration there? Clever.) Not only was it a summary of the plot, a really horribly, criminally vomitous summary...
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From the classroom...

I really hate it when teachers lecture, and then they go to write a word on the board and they segue into it like this: "And he was known for using this term throughout his career--" And then they pause to write it on the board, while you're trying to write it down in your notes, and you're sitting on the side of the classroom that disables your vision when the teacher stands in front of the word that he's writing, so you can't see it and it's really dramatic-like and you just want to write down the stupid word but you can't because they're still writing it.... And this has been a moment of  BLARRGH!! with Molly LeCaptain.
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Why the second Catherine, you ask? Well....

I'm lying in bed right now. It is roughly 2AM, and I've just arrived home after a fun night of karaoke. Here are the thoughts bouncing 'round in my head, keeping me from sleep: My full name is Molly Catherine Catherine LeCaptain. When I was in high school and was confirmed (you know, the whole church-y thing), we had to choose a confirmation name that we felt suited us best. They gave us a list of names and their meanings. My friend chose an exotic name that had something to do with music, and I wanted to choose a name that had some personal meaning too. Instead, I waited until the last minute when we needed to have a name chosen so that the plans could all be arranged in time for the actual confirmation day. Flustered, I thought to myself, "Well, my middle name is Catherine, that's about as personal as you can get without choosing your first name, right?" And so, I told the woman running our confirmation class that I had chosen Catherine to be my confirma...
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