Accidentally Hilarious.

I decided it was about time I updated the few of you who read these posts about how my life has been since I moved to Chicago. First of all - job hunting is a funny thing. You put in a hundred million applications to a hundred million stores, restaurants, hotels, even dog walking companies. You do it online, you do it in person, you do it....doggy style? That was way funnier in my head. I was worried sick that I wouldn't find a job and that I would slowly become the poorest person on the planet and have to live on subway cars that smell like pee and eat rats that I caught with my bare hands.  But when Jade and I got off the train on our first excursion into downtown Chicago, I saw a Bed Bath & Beyond literally right in front of me, and with my luck, they had a table full of applications and a sign that said "Join our team! Turn in an application and get an immediate interview." Well I did, and I was really hopeful for that job, but I never heard back from them. ...

These thoughts are fresh in my mind and I need to write them down before they evaporate. Very recently I've been thinking about how social media has affected us as a whole, and myself personally. We post things that we hope people will notice. We live for how many "likes" that over-share of a status we posted will get, or how many people will Retweet that witty, completely original post about Jennifer Lawrence's tumble at the Oscars, or your super funny joke about the blackout at the Superbowl. Surely, no one else's post was as original as yours. There are even pages entirely dedicated to do nothing but post pictures for no apparent reason with the caption, "How many likes for this poor woman suffering from menstrual cramps? 1 Like = 1 Prayer."  Come on, people. We want people to like us. To notice us. We. Want. Attention. That's all social media is, really. Your Facebook timeline is one giant plea to your friends to notice you. You don...

I really have to pee. I've been drinking a LOT more water lately than I'm used to drinking. Anyone who really knows me, knows that I hate water. If I could drink anything but water for the rest of my life and not gain tons of weight or die an early, sad, pathetic death, I would. (Hello, Rumchata. Or maybe horchata. Let's be reasonable.) But with all this water I've been drinking, comes more trips to the bathroom. And I find myself being too damn lazy to just get up and go. Like, in the mornings, the early early mornings, I'll wake up and realize that I have to pee. But I'm so comfortable that I don't want to get out of my cocoon. So I try to fall back to sleep and go to the bathroom when I wake up for reals. Now that I've bored you with pee-pee talk. Jade and I were just talking about Closed Captioning. He was watching me type, and noticed that I can type really quickly. It's true. *brush brush* Yesterday at the gym I was watching some news...

Hi. So, I just read the blog of a good friend of mine, and it inspired me to write the blog that you are (maybe) going to read. (Thanks, Ashley :) Since graduating last May, I haven't done much...I worked another summer at the golf course, did a few more Daddy D shows, had surgery to fix another hernia that magically popped up, got another job at the mall after my job at the golf course ended for winter, and watched a whole lot of TV series on NetFlix (including Parks & Recreation, Grey's Anatomy, Breaking Bad, catching up on Glee, and currently Ugly Betty). My life has hit a plateau. I have an amazing boyfriend with whom I've been for 10 months, and a really beautiful apartment, but I just feel like I haven't made anything of myself since graduating. People always tell me that that's normal, that you don't have to find your place in the world immediately upon graduating, but I just feel like I have literally done nothing but watched all my friends mov...

Starting weight: 144 lbs. Yeah, I'm admitting this on the internet. Available to any and all who stumble upon this. (Which is probably the only way anyone will see this.) I'm trying it again. This whole "health" thing. I had another go at it this past summer, it lasted for about a month and a half, which is probably a record for me at this point in my life. After high school, I lost the constant movement and physical chaos of being in show choir, where we danced for 3 hours every other day, sometimes more. I also haven't gone through a heart-wrenching, appetite-reducing break-up in over a year, so I've been eating well, which...is an over-statement. I eat a lot. I like food. And I plan to still eat food. I just want to learn to control myself whenever I'm bored and feel like food is the solution. So, 144 is my starting point. By the time I get to New York, ideally I'd like to be at 125. Ideally. We'll see. Maybe this time I can stick with it....

Hey Hi Hello! I have just spent a couple minutes reading some of my old posts. I would like to extend my sincerest apologies for dumping sad-and-lonely all over you. Like a bucket full of soda. Like, cuz...soda's fun to drink but when it's dumped all over you it dries and gets sticky and leaves you feeling gross and like you need a shower. This is my blog. What? I can tell by looking at the stats of my page when I felt the most depressed. I blog more when I'm depressed. I have more free time to sit and write for no reason, and more colorful language with which to write. It was pretty pathetic, really. So to make up for all the sad, I would like to dump some happy on you. So, there's this boy. I like him. He likes me, and he tells me how much he likes me on a daily basis. He holds my hand in public without my having to ask or demand it. He reaches out behind him, extending his hand to me, an indication for me to wrap my fingers between his. This is a big deal...

Hi... I'm sitting in my apartment watching Parks and Rec  in the bedroom while my boyfriend and his bros are drafting their fantasy football teams. I made them pigs in a blanket. I feel accomplished and house-wifey. I'm writing now because I feel like maybe I should be, because in a few short months, I won't be living the same life, living in the same place, around the same people. So maybe I should write to remember these last few months here so that when I move to New York City, I can read these posts when I feel homesick. I've been doing almost literally nothing but working at the golf course this summer. I feel like I'm such a drag since I have to go to bed early in order to wake up at 5:30am. I haven't gone out as much as last summer, I haven't drank or been drunk, I haven't even been up to my cottage since Memorial Day weekend. I'm hoping that once school starts, and my hours are dropped a bit at work, I'll be able to let loose a litt...