A Strange Concern

I did something drastic this week.

I don't know if it was because I wanted to prove to myself that I can be impulsive or spontaneous, or if it was just because I wanted a change. Perhaps it was a bit of both. Either way, I'm not thrilled with the outcome.

I chopped off all my hair. I said, "Mom, I want to get a haircut." And so she did what she's always done when I say those words - she called the Hair Depot and set up an appointment for me in an hour.

I knew that I either wanted to get bangs, or just to lop everything off. Poof. Gone.

Dammit, if I'm going to get a haircut, I'm going to get a haircut.

Now, the following is going to seem like a plea for compliments, for you to tell me that it looks great or that I'm so pretty whenever it is that you first see me. I promise you, it is not that in any way, shape or form. This is me simply expressing my current distaste with my state of...head. So please don't take pity on me. I don't need it. (But thanks anyway.)

At first, I looked like Justin Bieber. I wanted to chop my head off when I made that discovery in the mirror. It was then that I decided to go to the store to pick up some brown hair dye.

When I dyed it, dark brown, I then looked more like Liza Minelli. But mostly, now, I feel as though I resemble a soccer mom. It's no fun to see women twice your age walking around with the same haircut as you. Not that I have anything against soccer moms, I'd just rather not look like one.

A strange concern:

I don't feel sexy.

Now, I've been told by at least one man in particular that I fit this particular adjective. I've never really thought of myself as a sexy person, it's awkward for me to even write the words "I" and "sexy" in the same sentence. But now that I have boy hair, I feel that I have not even a shred of sexy left in me. Men don't want to be with women who have shorter hair than they do. They want to be able to brush a girl's hair behind her ear when it falls out of place. Short hair is too masculine, and I think, for the most part, straight men are more into feminine women than masculine ones. I just don't feel sexy. I feel as though I am doomed to walk the earth for the next year or so with short, boyish hair, and no one to walk the earth with me.

(These are all personal opinions and observances, not facts, mind you. I don't know what men really want.)

Hair plays an extremely important role in how a woman feels about herself. It frames her face, which is usually her most important physical asset. If she's not comfortable with her hair, how can she truly be comfortable with herself?

Woe is me, I know, I know. I think I can hear violins playing. So I'm being a little melodramatic. Okay, a lot melodramatic, but this is just what I think when I look in a mirror. At least right now. I'm sure I'll get used to it soon, as soon as I figure out things to do with it that make me look 23 and not 45. And maybe there is some guy out there who likes short haired girls.

Or maybe there is a guy out there who likes Mollys.

Of course, I was warned that I would regret this decision soon after making it. "Girls are supposed to have long hair." But in the same sense, I don't regret it. I've always wanted to have short hair. If I hadn't done it, I would have always wondered what it would be like to have short hair. Now I know. Life lessons. If Emma Watson can do it, so can Molly. Right? Meh.

A perk: It takes me about 1/4 of the time to wash my hair. Bazinga.

I'm sorry if I can't be bubbly and uplifted about it. You may see me and say, "ZOMGOSH! SO CUTE!" Don't be surprised if I seem a little lack luster, and please be patient. I don't hate you. Just adjusting to something new.

Goodnight, y'all.

Peace.