Waterpark Generalizations

I spent the weekend in Wisconsin Dells, and thought of a few things to share with you:

1) If you are an attractive man or woman with a technically good physique and do not enjoy being stared at, gawked at, or generally checked out, then you should not work at a place where your entire job is to stand around without any clothes on all day long.

2) Noah's Ark: An excuse for you to see your girlfriend half naked and wet for an entire day.

3) Men who have girlfriends, and often times when said girlfriend is sitting, standing, or walking hand in hand with them, WILL look at your boobs if you make eye contact in passing. ("Oh, you have eyes. Oh! You have boobs, too! I'm going to look at them quickly and hope you don't notice BYE!")

4) Everyone is a body builder, and if they're not, they're over the age of 60. Seriously. Even some children look like He-Man.

5) 80's classic rock ballads make an inappropriate waterpark soundtrack.

6) Wisconsin Dells' bar scene = Jersey Shore Wisconsin

That's about all I could think of. I'm sure there are plenty more where that came from. Maybe I'll update this when I think of more. Or maybe not. I'll keep you in suspense.

I'm watching Mean Girls and eating Three-Cheese Tortellini. What are you up to tonight?

Goodnight, world.

xoxo, Molly

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Seems as though I've been slipping off the blog wagon. Could be because my life isn't exactly very exciting these days. I auditioned for SNC Music Theatre's production of "Joseph" and was cast as one of the wives of the brothers. So I have that to look forward to for the summer. I want to live next to water someday. I was driving down Riverside Drive coming back from the call back for Joseph yesterday and the sun was setting over the Fox River. It was so beautiful, so peaceful. It would be so wonderful to see that every night from the rear window of the house that I live in. I hung out with two of my best friends in the entire world at Communiversity Park this afternoon. We had the strange realization that we've now been friends for 10 years. We also decided that we're going to go to our 5 year high school reunion as Sex and the City. Because it's so fitting. I'm Carrie, I guess. But we decided that Lauren and I are interchangeable Carrie and Charl
Read more

We. Want. Attention.

Image
These thoughts are fresh in my mind and I need to write them down before they evaporate. Very recently I've been thinking about how social media has affected us as a whole, and myself personally. We post things that we hope people will notice. We live for how many "likes" that over-share of a status we posted will get, or how many people will Retweet that witty, completely original post about Jennifer Lawrence's tumble at the Oscars, or your super funny joke about the blackout at the Superbowl. Surely, no one else's post was as original as yours. There are even pages entirely dedicated to do nothing but post pictures for no apparent reason with the caption, "How many likes for this poor woman suffering from menstrual cramps? 1 Like = 1 Prayer."  Come on, people. We want people to like us. To notice us. We. Want. Attention. That's all social media is, really. Your Facebook timeline is one giant plea to your friends to notice you. You don&#
Read more

Job hunting is a funny thing.

I decided it was about time I updated the few of you who read these posts about how my life has been since I moved to Chicago. First of all - job hunting is a funny thing. You put in a hundred million applications to a hundred million stores, restaurants, hotels, even dog walking companies. You do it online, you do it in person, you do it....doggy style? That was way funnier in my head. I was worried sick that I wouldn't find a job and that I would slowly become the poorest person on the planet and have to live on subway cars that smell like pee and eat rats that I caught with my bare hands.  But when Jade and I got off the train on our first excursion into downtown Chicago, I saw a Bed Bath & Beyond literally right in front of me, and with my luck, they had a table full of applications and a sign that said "Join our team! Turn in an application and get an immediate interview." Well I did, and I was really hopeful for that job, but I never heard back from them.
Read more